Simplify.

Everything is so complicated. So elaborate. There are a billion ways to go in life. Choice is so daunting. Some things I can boil down to one simple choice which changed my life forever. And then I get to thinking about all the times a single simple decision changed my life forever and I'm not even aware of it now. Good gravy. This is why I'm jealous of the elderly. They can sit back and enjoy the simplicities of life. I want to do that, but I'm too busy worrying about my job, and my ex-boyfriend, and my classes, and my health, and my plans for this weekend, and my family. I want to simplify it all, without the use of illegal substances. Is this possible? Or is this state of mind something I'm just going to have to get use to? Who has the answer?

Listening to Bon Iver. And I'm not your skinny love anymore, breaks my heart.

Oie, life be bitchin'. Flowers because they are equally as romantic and depressing as choices.

Photo cred 1, 2.

Compliments and Candy

It always starts with an excitement.
It ends with a long walk home, this time solo.

I asked him to walk me home, be a gentleman, you know. He said he was too drunk. Part of me believed him, as his eyes told that. Part of me identified his slick laziness and chauvinistic pig ways. Either way I was fine with it and decided it was for the best, as I don't think I really wanted him to end up at my place either, although it would have been entertaining to see the look on the face of my oh so distant roommate.

"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." Not the first time I've been told this, hopefully won't be the last. The key to this was deciphering the sincerity of the remark. We had moved from the benches of the dance floor with the cheesy colored lights and distractingly loud music to the executive room with high-backed, quality foam seated swirling chairs. Legs spread, back against the wall, he held me at his waist, high off the ground as he was tall like me. He continued with the compliments, but the neediness in his voice was starting to annoy me. He smelled good and told me I was beautiful, and he was certainly more than relatively attractive, so I let him continue. We didn't sleep together, God no. He had sweet talked way too many girls like this before me, and I was well aware. To my Charismatic Wonderboy, I knew your game the whole time. Really any guy who ever wants a guarantee lay should take lessons from this guy. He could tell most girls the world was going to end and I'm sure they all would believe it, not to mention what they'd do for him before this "end of the world". But then again, most girls who end up at these frats really are that ridiculous. I like to think of myself as an exception thank you very much.

He wanted me to go away with him for a 2 day trip to Michigan. Fucking glorious. This kid had so much bull shit spewing out of his mouth I wouldn't be surprised if it was coming out his ass too. Sure, he might have wanted me to come, but no way in Hell was I really going. I didn't graduate high school with my 4.1 GPA by blowing my teachers.

Here I am, eating Munchies and drinking my Minute Maid Lemonade out of the 2-liter, something that really disgusts me. But I live alone and never have anyone to share my lemonade with so what the hell. My frustration is solely derived from the fact that I left my phone there somewhere. Everything would have been fine if I hadn't left my phone at that goddamn frat. FML.

Onward college life, Onward.

And Boom Goes the Dynamite

...as I realize college is harder than I expected. I hate most of my classes so far. The professors don't speak much English and constantly feel the need to remind us they are "Dr. Owens" not just Professor or even Mister. (Since when do you take offense to being referenced as an adult male?!) It's connerie. And this one lady..., "Okay? Yis. Okay?" What the fuck is your problem lady? And you would think that when a class of 400 students is shifting in their seats it's not a lack of Preparation H but rather a lack of anything intriguing in your lecture... but wait it's the first day of class so if your slide says Class Guidelines can we stick to that and not mention the Nazis? Seriously. I am a good student. But not kidding, I fell asleep during my first sociology class. I didn't regret a second of it but I did cringe at the fact that I gave up on an art school because of unavoidable debt. At this point, I think my time is worth more than this.

Anyway, besides all this I did some serious sketching during Math and came up with a few discussion topics before CNIT.

One: Shoes and how they are an instant giveaway of personal style, attitude, and economical backgrounds.

Two: Men and squeaky shoes. What's the deal?

Moral of the day: Your time is yours to do with it what you choose. If sketching your math prof is more beneficial than trying to memorize the Properties she scribbles without audible explanation then go for it.

Yey for spending $300 on text books tonight! Not.

Shower time. Photo Cred.